I simply can't do more than what is in front of me.

Last week Captain and I ran twenty miles. It's truly crazy. When I first began running over three years ago I couldn't run 1/10th of a mile with out stopping and walking for a distance. I will admit that we totally did a 2min run/1min walk through the 20 miles, because that distance needs extra special treatment. It was the first time we had run that distance, and I don't think I will be running a long distance like that again before we hit the marathon. It's a little scary, if I don't say so myself, but the circumstances demand it.

When I first started running it was simply to run a 5k with Captain. He had already run his first half marathon, and I though running was something he was going to always be doing. I wanted to do it with him, so I put my feet on the indoor track and started.

I didn't follow anyone else's couch to 5k program, but I did look at a lot of different ones, and came up with what fit me. And that changed as I improved as well. First I would try to simply run a lap. Then I tried to run for half a song. Then a whole song. Then 4 laps. I'm not really sure, actually, I just know I went with what felt right after doing some research in what others thought was best.

I don't believe just because X says something then it's the way to go. I'm a bit rebellious like that, I guess. I want to know what Y and Z say too, and then compare. There's so many ways to do something, and not everything is going to work for me, but often times a careful extraction of the multiple ways will work.

Not that there aren't times when you want to follow a specific specialist in what they say. There's those moments, too, right?

The first time I ran outside I cried a little. It was so much harder than running at the gym. Sure, 50 laps can be monotonous, but the slightly padded flat floor was supreme. The hills. The Oklahoma wind. The temperature variances. The bugs. So many things make running outside a greater challenge. 

But they don't hold marathons inside. And there is no way I can run THAT many laps either.

I have surpassed my original goal for running. That happens so often. Sometimes we think, "Let me just get through ____" and when we work hard and do what we know we must do we turn around and see how much farther we were able to go. The same goes for Taekwondo. I never considered a black belt when I first started, and yet here I am 2.5 weeks away from testing for mine. Sometimes it boggles my brain.

For me, I have learned to work hard where I am and not look too far in the future. That can overwhelm me tremendously and cause me to quit. But if I do my best at what is in front of me then I keep moving forward taking the next step. Not that the next step isn't scary in it's own right, but it's much more acceptable than twelve steps down the road when I have no idea how I'm going to get there.

The next two and a half months hold big things which I am looking forward to doing and accomplishing. They all boggle my brain, but they'll all be good. My goal is to be in the moment with each and every one. To fully enjoy, experience, and appreciate where I am, how I got there, and celebrate those times. Then I'll look to the next step waiting to see what is set before me.

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  1. Found your blog today Stacey as I was looking at Pinterest for shawl or poncho to crochet. Even though it is almost spring by the calender, it feels like winter outside today. So, I found your mixed stitch poncho that I believe I will crochet. I have some leftovers in pinks and burgundies that I think will make up nicely. I just need something to toss on on those days when it is cool. I am almost an empty-nester like you. The 22 yo son still lives at home. The 20 yo daughter lives at college and is getting married in December. Life changes are sometimes best approached one day at a time, one step at a time also. Best wishes on your black belt exam.

    1. Thank you for dropping in! I do hope you love the poncho when you are finished with it. Each one I have seen has been so unique and individual.


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